All i can say is, i can’t imagine what my mom is going through right now, as i don’t even want to think about the possibility of ever losing my own sister.

See,  just like Aunt Susie i have always been the one away from home. I had not seen her in years. I don’t even know her that much except through stories my mom told me about their childhood. She was always skinny, looked more like our grandpa, mom looked more like grandma. Something had happened and she moved and lived in Namanga Kenya, away from her family, and she truly didn’t move back home till this year i believe, and now she is gone.

Mom said they used to be very close when they were younger, but i guess when life throws you a curd-ball stuff happens and it is very easy to lose touch- but regardless of what happened, or the number of years that passed, they always knew they had each other.  I used to watch mom run down the little dirt road to her mother’s house when my cousins would come to get her, to let her know Aunt Susie was visiting. I always use to go see her, i guess more so because mom always used to tell me, how i remind her of Susie.

Mom would say ” Yes you are almost flat chested just like your aunt Susie, you definitely need to shave your legs, just like your aunty Susie, etc ” Yet i really didn’t know her.

When i took the boys home in April, i heard she was home and had been for a while. I stopped there briefly to chat with her and Julian got to meet her. Eli was home with my mom. She truly reminded me of our late grandpa, she still had this infectious laugh and smile. She was still very shy. She really wanted me to make sure that i see my cousin Wanjiru ( her eldest daughter) before leaving.  I was happy, i got to reconnect back with Wanjiru, it had been over 12 yrs since we last saw each other.

I know if you are reading this, you are probably thinking what the heck… Yes, sometimes life and family  can be like that. People lose touch not with friends only, but even with family.  I hope with me writing this, you will stop and look at your phone or some old photos of you , your family and friends  and just reconnect with someone that was dear to you that you just lost touch.

I haven’t talked to mom yet, it’s a bit too early at home now…I am staying up so i can call her.  I am sad for her. For all the years that slept by where she didn’t get to share with her sister. All the moments that you would want to laugh, scream with joy, or just cry on your sister’s shoulder.  I wonder what is going through her mind right now. She has lost her mother, her father, and now her sister.  I just want to give my mom a big hug and cry with her right now.

Losing a sister, or any loved one is hard…and plainly sucks!

Like my baby sister would put it ” God loved her more”  -  Very true.

She is in a better place where there is no more pain.  God rest her soul in eternal peace!

I love you Aunt Susie!

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Last night i went to sleep by  Julian’s bed since i don’t get to spend time with  him during the week due to school,  and i fell asleep. My husband was kind enough not to wake me up when Eli woke up. I can say that is one of the few nights i truly had a mommy full night sleep…Yes 4 hrs of uninterrupted sleep can be considered ‘plenty’ of sleep to a mom or a dad.:)

I  have been doing yoga at least 3 times a week and i love it. I love how i feel after practicing yoga. I feel stronger, more centered,  and definitely happier.  In yoga you truly get to focus on your inner self, and it is amazing how much  you can just let go.  So for some of you who can’t seem to just ever stop, always on the go, shuffling life, kids, work, people etc… being able to set a time in the middle of your chaos and just draw in- meditate, breath etc  can be truly good for you, and while you are at it – try yoga, i definitely would recommend it.

Well, i better go  catch up on  my Zs, i have to get the boys ready for church early in the morning.

Have a great week! Bonne nuit!

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I actually woke up early today with some aches and pains. I need a warm bubble bath and some massage…mmmh a day spa would be the ultimate gift! So do i do now… get my butt off this computer go make some lunch then get ready to go to work, all sound like fun, huh.. it is the typical day of a mama. So when you get some quiet moments alone, it feels like serenity.

I miss my mother, she wasn’t feeling too good either when i last talked to her on Sunday… I need to call her tonight.

Did  i tell you all that i just had a birthday? Yeah i did.  The numbers are getting bigger, but i am definitely getting younger at heart and spirit, lol… Everyone’s favorite statement. Nothing is stopping me from pursuing my goals, and every day is a gift.

So, i may have some aches and pains here and there, but nothing is going to stop me from walking out of the door and carry on with my life…So no excuses for you, if you can breathe and walk, get up and do something today. Go for a walk at the park,  plan a day out with your family or friends,  hit the gym, of course  before or after work,  or like my favorite yoga instructor would say try something new!

With everything else,  bonne chance! et bon weekend!

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I can’t even begin to count how many times both boys call their daddy in a day… Daddy can you help me please? Daddy can you fix it? Daddy can you open it? Daaada.. Daddy it’s broke again! i mean that list is endless…

So, for all the daddies out there that are taking full responsibility of their children, and for the ones that have stepped into that role…I salute you. Here’s to you! May you have the strenghth to carry on this God given gift and responsibility, for as long as you shall live. It isn’t easy and it isn’t for the weak either, however one can agree, if taken seriously, it is one of the most rewarding jobs out there.  Not one single day is the same, and no matter how crappy your day can be…when you are greeted with that precious little smiley face, it is just hard not smiling back.. So Enjoy your children at every milestone in this life.

I look back at my childhood and there are soo many memories of my family and i. I can  tell you this, the ones that stand out the most are the ones with time spent with my father. For all the fathers out there, rich or poor…If there is one thing you do not want to ever regret, is not spending time with your child. I don’t care how rich you are, how many nannies or sitters your money can pay for… Your child wants YOU. Take that time to spend it with them as much as you can. If you really look at it, No matter how old we get, we always need  our parents.

Sometime you just want to talk to them, joke with them, play with them,  get a good hug, hear some  encouraging words, how about ” i love yous” , ” you can do it “, or just get a little advice.  I mean you know what i am talking about.

There’s nothing i love doing at home, than watching my boys play around with their dad. Anytime he is playing with one, the other one just doesn’t want to be left out. It is really a great way for them to bond together.

So wherever you are, whatever you do today, make sure you have reached out to your father or child and just share the love for today.

Happy fathers day to you all!

Happy father’s day dad, I will always love you!

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But this is just the beginning we have more teething to do.

He still is a good eater, so we have added meats and lots of other foods to his diet. We are trying to teach him to wave goodbye now. He is a talker and when he does, some words seem to sound real like ” hi” and “J” We call his big brother J and we think he has picked that. He says that in the morning when he wakes up, and looking towards the door, since his brother always comes in and wakes him if he isn’t up yet.

Parents keep track of the endless firsts… I mean, can you imagine being able torecord all those and share with your children when they are all grown up? I mean i think it is amazing. They will be a certain age only once , so why not enjoy as much as you can? My husband has been keeping a video diary of the boys  since birth and i think that is really cool. I never had that, so  if you are reading this and you are planning on having children of your own, or know someone that is expecting… hey i write  about my children, but video diaries are an absolute treasure!

Enjoy the firsts as they sure do pass fast!

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I am trying to travel overseas and of course, i waitd till the last minute to check my travel documents only to be greeted with an Expired passport, so of course my travel agent had to break news to me that the airline that i wanted to use will not accept travel documents, at least to get me home where i would gladly renew my good ol’ passport.

I really don’t want to have to use a different carrier as i am going to be stuck in long lay overs, and with 2 children…did i mention with a 9 month old baby? Dang! What was i thinking?

So, word of advice, renew  your IDs, passports etc  on time! Don’t do what this woman here did, now am left with limited options…. Yes i could go ahead and renew from here, but it is much longer process, and will not make it home for Easter …I know.. Yikes!

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For me it is my children, my family, my inner joy. I believe you have your own moments too.

I still wake up at night and sit by my boys and watch them sleep, and as a mother a lot go through your mind. You want all that is great for them,  and you worry about everything about them. When they are safely sleeping, this is when i am able to even rub their backs and their little feets, their hands and just give them even more little kisses on their cheeks.  When they are peacefully sleeping, it is when i let it sink in that these two little gifts are truly my Daily Blessings.

It is funny watching my own husband sleeping on the couch right now, and yes he reminds me so much of our two boys. I am seeing a lot of resemblance especially in Julian, i guess it is not a surprise they are conencted and will always be part of each other’s lives. I see the bond and love they share every day and i can’t help but recognize and thank God for all this and more, as i know it is truly a blessing. My children. My husband. My family. Good health, and joyful moments.

Take time daily and reflect on your own blessings.

Sleeping Angels…

Enjoy the week. Good night!

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Eli is crawling, climbing into stuff, and getting under anything that has room for him. His big brother thinks it is the funniest thing ever and his favorite thing to do is just pull him out. We have been always on our toes now. If we hear Julian scream ” turn around Eli..” Then you drop whatever you are doing and get to Eli’s rescue because, Julian holds Eli’s head and literally try to pull him around… Mmmh I know. Very scary.

All in all, there is nothing but love between those two handy boys.  Eli has been ‘slobbing’ kisses all over our faces.  He actually makes a sound while kissing us and just smiles. I love that. Any parent would agree, it feels great seeing your child happy.

I have been keeping up with my workouts, yesterday i did Aerial Silks yoga and boy oh boy my arms are sore. It fills like i hiked Mt Kilimanjaro with a rope, lol.  Aerial Silks is literally Silk fabric hanging from a hook in the ceiling and you hold the fabric and pull yourself up into different positions. I did a somersault and i tell you  that was not easy at first.

All in all, life has been good. I am looking forward to my trip to Africa this Easter, so there is a lot to look forward to this year… I just can’t stop talking about it, and yes i can’t wait! I will get to see my family after almost 5 years, so yes am excited!

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Most of us are quick to see our own flaws, our problems,  what we don’t have, and just about anything negative about ourselves. We worry  sick about everything,  day in and day out, we worry about things that we can’t even control, things that  would clearly survive us.

Good example right now, have you watched the news lately about what is going on  in Haiti? Iraq? some parts of Africa?  Well even here at home, in your own  neighborhood? I bet you, someone out there  has  it worse than you. 

You complain that you have no life…At least you woke up this morning and took a breath of fresh air, Thank God for that as someone else is probably in a coma right now and can’t  do any of that.  For the folks that complain about how much they detest their cars, are you one of them? You hate your car right now  for one reason or another, some  hate their car  because it is not  brand new, or doesn’t  have all the knicks and knacks, it is not an SUV or a BMW etc…well at least you have a car. I grew up with folks that walked miles and miles away with luggage on their head , and children on their back,  just to get to their destination, so thank God you have a car.

I know, i am guilty here. I complain about my children, sometime. I complain how Eli kept me up all night, and complain how Julian won’t  listen sometime, but at least i have them to keep me on my toes day and night. They have definitely made me appreciate my parents even more than ever. They have made me stop and get me  grounded,  and pretty much made me a better person. I can’t pretend that i don’t realize that  there is someone somewhere right now, who  would love to be able to have her own children, and would  gladly stay up the whole night holding and cuddling  them up…so yes be thankful for what you have, and i am!

Be thankful for where you are in your life. So you just hit 50  and  now you look back and find yourself  filled up with regrets of what you didn’t get to do, or what you don’t have yet. Stop yourself, and just look back at what you got to do. You chose a certain path in your life and i bet you, there are great memories there. Own that up and be grateful you were given that gift of life. Whatever else you have not accomplished yet, if you really  want it bad enough and want  to go for it, you can.  What is it that most say… you don’t have a degree? …go back to school and go for your degree, who said it is too late for your dreams? It  is never  too late for anyone to go after their hearts desires! By the way,  your neighbor just turned 77 and am sure he  would want to be 50 any given day! So love the age you are, everyday.

So you do not have a house yet,  your credit is very bad right now and no one would give you a loan, or maybe you were foreclosed.  All these are  temporary situations, they shall pass too. Credit can be repaired. If you want a house so bad and can’t afford to buy, go ahead and rent one. If you are already renting and are just stressed out because you can’t afford to buy your own house…please be gratefull you have a roof over your head. There was a quake that destroyed a lot of  houses in Haiti and the folks there were already poor to begin with, so trust me…you have it way better than you think!

So you hate your job…at least you have one! There is someone somewhere right now that would gladly switch places with you, so be grateful you have that job. Some people are in positions that pay 6 figures and still find something to complain about their jobs. It is like  the human nature to  not be satisfied with what we have. We are always looking outside our lives and just focusing on the cons. We stay up in bed tossing and turning over little things that we probably shouldn’t even worry about.  The funny thing is, when we wake up the next day, they will still be there waiting for us.. all the things that keep us tossing.

The point here is, take your time and see how blessed you are. You  have everything that you need to keep you content. Right in front of you.

Enjoy life!

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Tonight i made him pasta. I added cauli flower and broccolli in the water and bring to a boil, then added in the pasta. By the time the pasta was cooked the cauli flower and broccoli were completely mashed.  I drained a little excess  water and added some olive oil, ground beef, and pasta sauce. He chowed it down and washed away with a cup of V8 fusion light juice.

Getting veggies in Eli’s diet has been way easier as i am blending his food. Tonight, i made him a blend of  cauli flower, broccolli,  celery, squash, carrots , green beans, corn and peas and 2 small potatoes. I added some flax seed oil to the veggies when they were cooked and just pureed them. This was not only tasty, but quite healthy too.

Oh dear, my husband just  fell asleep on the couch with one had on a can of beer! I have to go snatch it from his had before it hits the floor.

Have a good weekend.

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