So Eli had never been to daycare till now at 21 months, so week one was a huge adjustment for him, the drop offs were hard, but as the days go by he is getting better. He still holds on to me, hanging on to me so tight, cries a bit but we are at the point, he walks through the doors, with his head turning towards me so i can wave goodbye and blow him some mama kisses.

This evening when i picked him up, i was overjoyed. I could tell he had a good day. He saw me through the window and i tell you if that window wasn’t too high for him he was going to jump to get to me.

The door opened and he run over his teacher and came crashed into my arms laughing, almost crying – the happy cry and just wrapped his little hands  around my neck and just smiled.  I squeezed the dear life out of him, ha ha ha.  I loved it. He kept on looking at me, laughing, hugging me, and i looked at him and said ..” i always tell you i will come back to get you, see, i came back” and he just giggled some more.

It is moments like this that make life so pleasant

So, we went to the school section to pick up Julian, here he comes with one of the teachers arm in arm with another little boy in his class…so ,  i knew right away from that look in his face, he was in trouble! He was in a fight in school, well he couldn’t really tell me why the two of them fought, i know the teacher said she would notify both parents. Let’s just say i went all “African” on him in front of all his friends, and also made him hug the other boy. Reluctantly, but he still did.

I know i embarrassed him, because his whole evening kind of just went south after that. He refused to eat dinner, he said he was sleepy, and went to bed early. I managed to distract Eli while i read to him alone, we talked about what had happened in school, and why i did what i did. He said he was sorry and that he won’t do it again. My hope he will learn from this, and that before he gets into another fight he will remember when i hear about it, there will be consequences. He is still young, but habits are best nipped in the bud.

I plan on meeting with his teacher to find out more.

We did talk about his upcoming birthday, and of course he wants to invite all his friends, including the little boy that he fought with. I was happy to hear that:)

I am not going to lie that i don’t feel bad about the whole thing, as i do feel guilty for being so hard on him. I mean, as parents, it is the never ending. You know in your heart you are doing the right thing, but you always question yourself. I know i have to constantly remind myself, that i am the parent. I need to be not only the mom, but also the disciplinarian,  if i don’t set boundaries and expectations now,  i mean who will the society blame the most, if he turns out not to have good behavior. As painful as it may feel right now, it has to be done, to help him become a better person, and i just have to accept that.

It is almost 9pm, both boys are fast asleep. I am thankful for today, thankful for good health, and i appreciate all the little moments, good or bad. I take them all in, and i pray that I become a better person, and able to  make the right choices as well,  so i can do right by my children everyday.

I hope you are having a good week, Goodnight and God bless!

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You know, if there is one thing for certain in life is change. It is inevitable. It is all around us, so if there is one thing anyone can take and learn is the ability to adapt. Trust me, that can get you through anything.

I have found myself overjoyed,  challenged, stressed, gracious, certain, peaceful, and in tears. Yeah it all fits, especially if you are human.

I am thankful for my friends, family, and my children, they have  given me so much, they have filled my days with all the above and everyday is a day of adventure.

My husband went overseas and we definitely miss him. I have a lo of respect for all the single parents, i mean men or women, i mean my heart go out to you all, it is a lot of work. When both parents are home, you take the little deeds for granted, till you have to do it all.  I guess it makes me appreciate him even more.

My son Julian made me shed some tears today. I wanted him to go to bed, but of course like any typical 4 year old he had to argue his case, i got snippy with him and gave him a mini lecture. When i was done he said ok mommy now i have something to say too, so i said ok… He said mommy you need to be nicer to people , i need you to play more with me, ok? I need  you to tell Eli to wait in his room so you can read me my story, ok? I listen mommy, ok?…” I just lost it.

I know he feels it , now that his dad is away. I used to have daddy occupy Eli while we had our one on one before bed, now of course, the ever handful, Eli is usually glued to mommy everywhere. You know when mothers say they feel guilty when there is a new addition because they feel like the older kids don’t get enough attention…man, they do have a point. I am definitely going to come back to blogging, otherwise i am going to be an emotional wreck…

I stood on my kitchen, holding a warm cup of tea and i closed my eyes and said a little prayer, I thanked God for it all, and asked for strength, patience, and for a way through it all, for he can never give us anything we can’t handle. He always make ways through the impossible situations. He places people in our lives for every purpose, and no matter the obstacles  there is nothing that he can’t handle. He is the power.

So if you are reading my diary today, and you are in some kind of a situation where no matter how small or big, just know that there is nothing that you can’t do, just dig deeper within you, or your faith, and some situations may get worse , but remember no matter how bad things are, they always get better.

Enjoy your family, hold and kiss your kids, and always remind them of how much you love them.

Have a great weekend!

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